Lost my love for obedience

Yesterday I went into Calgary to work on obedience with a few people.  I really didn't want to go and it took all my will power to resist making an excuse and staying home.  I find I'm doing this a lot lately with obedience.  I could potentially practise every Wednesday with these ladies, but I might go to one practise a month.  I just can't find the motivation to do obedience anymore.  I don't know what it is, or how it happened, but I am completely fed up with obedience.

I've been trying to solve my little mystery and I keep coming back to the fact that my dogs just don't seem to enjoy it as much as the other things we do together.  I think one of the biggest turn offs for me in obedience is that my dogs are not allowed to bark.  This might seem like a pretty minor thing to most people, but I own shelties and when shelties are excited they bark.  So for me I love seeing my dogs bark and bounce as we are approaching the agility startline. Or bark in their lineup for flyball or scent hurdle racing.  I hate that if my dogs bark with enthusiasm in rally or obedience I am penalised for this!  It just seems so unfair. If my dogs aren't barking, too me they are just not having that much fun.

If I am practising and my dogs are heeling beside me, or retrieving an object and start barking,   I then have to tell them "no" or "quiet" or "that's enough" because I can't let the habit start.  Then we both feel deflated.  I hate walking into the rally or obedience ring wondering if my dogs are going to bark.  Most people worry that their dogs wont heel, or wont stay, etc, I worry about barking.  Even between exercises in formal obedience, most people can play with their dogs, do some spins, but I can't.  If I do these things it will get my dogs excited and of course they will bark.  So we stay cool, quiet and in control.  How boring for me and my shelties.

 I often visit websites of top agility handlers and I always check out their dog's pages.  It's funny how often I see the handler's first dog or two have obedience titles, then as they progress their last several dogs only have agility titles.  Do they also find that the dogs don't have as much fun in obedience?  Maybe they also find it a little too slow and methodical, like I do.  I often wonder if I will end up like these handlers.  Giving up on obedience altogether.

So I have lost my love for obedience, and I don't know how to get it back.  I wonder if I even want to get it back...